not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
