he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
