We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My pussy is not your playground.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
