He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
