we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
