Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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