should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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