Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Everyone says I win the strip club
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
