Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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