Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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