I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize