I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
