I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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