you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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