considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
