Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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