If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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