You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
