There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
