Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
