oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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