**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
