I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We need to rekindle our bromance
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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