so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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