let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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