Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
