curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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