so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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