I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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