just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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