i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
