I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
