bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
