I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
