i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
