How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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