i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
