The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
