I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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