Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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