drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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