We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I believe in your delicious
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
