3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The best revenge is premature balding
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
