I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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