I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
