Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
