Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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