He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
