i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
