dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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