is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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